I live a boring life. Most of us do. We go through our daily routines and dream our dreams for the future, and as those dreams come to pass, they become the new routine and there are new dreams. It’s the human-way.
But my life was not always so boring. I was not always the suburban mom I am today. I didn’t always wake up early in the morning to begin my morning preparing for a life of service to the two little souls in my care. This rather normal existence is a very happy time, a time of joy and wonder. I am perhaps most myself these past few years, caring for house and home and the people within it.
But it has not always been this way. I grew up in a broken home. It was a sad and angry place, lonely. I had a lot of troubles in my childhood, there’s a lot of pain there. There are a lot of good memories too, some of the people I have shared my life with have been amazing and beautiful.
I grew up in a big city, I grew up on a farm. I lived in the mountains, in the forests, in small towns. As a child I lived with different members of my family, I lived in foster care. I was sometimes so poor we had neither electricity nor running water in our house. We shared it with giant rats. Later on I was a street kid. I was hungry and cold. I had no security, no safety, little love. I dropped out of highschool. I found ways to stay alive.
I lived in the Appalachian Mountains for about six months with nothing more than a tent and some gear. I lived a vagabond life.
I ended up in paradise. My life started to turn around. I got my GED, my associates degree, my bachelors, my post-Bacc.
I travelled the world, I’ve been to places of great civilization, places with no civilization. I’ve traveled through war and poverty. I’ve traveled to places that seem to exist only in a state of imagination.
I worked in nursing for nearly 10 years, most of it in Emerg. I saw things that gave me hope and brought me to despair. I’ve worked two jobs and gone to school full time. I’ve saved lives. I’ve sat with the dying.
And finally, my life slowed down.
The seeds of love and hope came to me and though it was a major struggle, I brought forth into the world a little boy that would forever change me, and who would make me who I truly am–Mother. Following him was a sister who fills my life with light and joy.
They are now my heart. We try to fill our home with love and laughter, with togetherness and spirit. It is a safe place, a happy one, and it is stable and sure.
I live a boring life. And for anyone who cares to listen, I’ll share a little of that boring life with you. And maybe I’ll share some stories along the way.
I don’t know, do you want to know about that? Certainly it will touch my writing, both directly and indirectly. I don’t talk about it much, as it’s not really something to be directly talked about, it’s more a way of life, or a way of being.
There are many different kinds of Pagans, and for all that there are many different types of HedgeWitches. I suppose the most common form familiar to the world at large is that of THe Medicine Woman or Shaman. You know, those old ladies who live at the end of the village and the whole village is frightened of them, but they still go to her for knowledge, healing or spells? Yeah, those were HedgeWitches. I think what we all have in common is we share a deep connection to the Earth (in this world and another), we all are called to heal and we are mostly a solitary bunch (no covens for us!). Oh, and we don’t generally cast spells, we tend to follow science. The magic we hold is the knowledge of the world we live in (and perhaps the next), the miracles in the every day and the power of human spirit.
Most HedgeWitches will have an impressive knowledge of their ancestors, herbal lore, and the world around them. They are often found practising the healing arts, nurses, midwives, doulas, etc. They may or may not worship a deity or pantheon. All of this applies to me as well. I know from where my DNA comes, tracing some lines back to time before record. I grow and forage herbs and wildflowers, but more importantly, their qualities infuse me with wonder. I was a nurse, I continue to nurse.
Maybe, if I’m honest, what it really comes down to is we love to go out into the woods and just be a part of nature. We’re tree-huggers.
I am agnostic. More specifically, an agnostic theist, but it is not the Christian God who comes to me. I believe that we cannot comprehend divinity. I think it’s like nothing we can imagine. I believe we have made attempts to describe glimpses we have seen, but to create entire world orders on the premise is folly. Perhaps at some point I shall endeavour to dive in a little deeper, but for here and now I’ll just say my beliefs on the matter have something to do with Anthropic Principle and the idea that we are divinity observing itself. This is consistent with the principles of The Triple Goddess who is prevalent throughout Paganism (both Neo via the Maiden Mother Crone, and the Old Ones such as Brighid); primarily that she lives within.
So anyway, if you’re still reading: thanks!
Oh right! I almost forgot, you might already know me as this person: